Last week I was doing some online stuff before work started, and I ran into two disappointments, one of them financial. I thought about my options for a little bit, and then started work. There were no histrionics, no self-pity, no rending of my clothes and/or gnashing of my teeth (well, maybe a little gnashing - I'm a gnasher from way back), just simple acceptance of the way things were in that moment. I said a little prayer of thanks for resilience.
Later on, as I'm working and thinking, I'm thinking about the fact that I didn't do my morning routine of spiritual and inspirational readings and prayer either that day or the day before, and I'm beginning to wonder how long my resilience will last. Will something happen later on that will be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and sends me into negative thinking, self-pity, and depression? You see, in me, resilience is not something that I either have or I don't; it's a mindset that I acquire through certain practices.
I like the 2nd definition above a little more than the first. The 2nd definition reminds me of a live, healthy tree - it's got roots that go deep enough to support it and nourish it, and it has sap running through it's fibers that nourish its limbs and leaves. A healthy tree can often survive a strong storm - the winds may bend the tree and rustle its leaves, but when the storm is done, the tree will be back to its old self. Now, take a tree that has died, but is still standing - the sap has run out of it, and it's limbs are hard and rigid. A dead tree can be easily uprooted or have its limbs snap off in a storm because it's no longer resilient - it lacks the quality of elasticity which would allow it to be swayed and return to its original shape.
Resilience is an important part of recovery from addiction and mental illness. Resilience in this way can be likened to immunity - if my immune system is strong, I can resist acquiring infections, or if I do get infected, I will recover quickly. If I have a weak or compromised immune system, my body is much more likely to catch something, and it could create a serious and even life-threatening infection. Certain things like my age, my diet, whether or not I exercise and get enough sleep, and my reaction to stress are all factors in whether or not my immune system is healthy and strong. I keep my resiliency healthy in much the same way, with a few more things added.
I'd like to mention here that I do take prescribed medication to treat my mental health condition. The medication does not really make me more resilient; it allows me to get to a level of functioning whereby I am able to practice coping skills that will help me maintain my mental/emotional health and sobriety.
So now that my brain is banging on all 8 most of the time, what do I do to enhance my resiliency? (The following list is not ordered in importance, other than the first item).
- Abstain from alcohol and other mood-altering drugs. Kinda makes sense, and for me there's no quicker way to push resilience away than by beginning to use again.
- Take my mental health medication as prescribed, and consult my psychiatrist before making any changes. It feels good to go for a while without a depressive episode, but time without an episode does not mean I'm cured. Likewise, time without an episode does not make me immune. I need to let others help me manage my mental health (which is a big challenge for me, but can be done).
- Daily read spiritual material, pray, and meditate (or practice mindfulness). Ok, maybe these are in order of importance so far. I've been able to do this more consistently lately than ever before, and there are so many benefits to a consistent spiritual practice. Not only do I feel more connected to life, but the connection allows me to feel like life happens through me rather than to me, and this is an important factor in resilience. Another benefit is that staying connected spiritually gives me more power and motivation to do other healthy things for myself.
- Practice good sleep hygiene. Lack of good sleep contributes negatively to my resiliency. It's that simple.
- Eat healthily. Eating healthy foods makes me feel better inside, whereas eating junk and sugar can make me irritable and impatient, two feelings that do not contribute to resiliency.
- Play. Doing stuff just for fun reminds me that life isn't always as serious as my mind can make it out to be.
- Utilize support groups. Having places to share my experience, strength, and hope with others keeps me living in the solution. On my own, I have a tendency to live in the problem, which is not resilient. On my own, my mind narrows, and I don't see solutions.
- Utilize mentorship. Like support groups, mentorship allows me to learn new ways of living from someone I trust.
- Exercise. Exercise is healthy! And it releases certain natural chemicals that make my brain feel good. And I feel more whole when I exercise regularly. Exercise lowers my blood pressure and heartbeat. All of these things promote resilience.
Finding out what makes one resilient is a matter of reflection. Do stuff and see what happens. Meditate for a few days, and if someone cuts you off on the road and you don't get pissed, it might be from the meditation. Or eat straight sugar for 3 days, and if life begins to seem overwhelming, there might be a causal relationship.
The librarian is giving me the evil eye, so I will close here and maybe come back and edit. Thanks for reading!
Namasté,
Ken
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