A Sense of Purpose Helps

A very real aid to mental health and substance use recovery is having a sense of purpose. The opposite of having a sense of purpose is having no sense of purpose - no reason to get out of bed in the morning, nothing really going on to motivate me to put forth any effort to embrace life. Major depressive disorder can make it seem as if I have no purpose, or as if my purpose isn't really worthwhile or valid. Active addiction takes away whatever sense of purpose I might have and replaces it with the purpose of obtaining and using alcohol or other drugs. So when I begin recovery, and continue in recovery, having a sense of purpose  helps me keep moving forward when there are forces within me that would like to see me move backward.

I think there is a difference between having a purpose and having a sense of purpose. Having a purpose, to me, is more finite. It's having a goal, which is concrete and observable. It's a destination - I'm going to become a millionaire, or I'm going to travel to New Orleans. Having a sense of purpose, on the other hand, gives me a guide about how I'm going to show up today - what my attitude and behavior is going to be. Having a sense of purpose doesn't guarantee that I'm going to reach a specific destination. It's more like, "I'm going to travel in a northerly direction and see where I end up." A sense of purpose is the journey itself.

Having a sense of purpose allows me to adjust to what is and live in the now. My own particular sense of purpose allows me to use the gifts I have to help enrich the lives of others while at the same time progressing in my own healing work. This is a fairly broad sense of purpose, and here is one of the ways in which it helps:  I'm currently working in a job that isn't something I want to do for the rest of my life. I inspect parts, and have recently been upgraded to machine operator. Sometimes it's fun and interesting; sometimes, I do the same thing over and over for 8 hours. In the job itself, I get to use my 'gift' of being able to find fault with anything. Under normal (for me) circumstances, I would find this job boring and very hard to do - the pay isn't good, and there's not a lot of incentive to keep showing up other than it's all I have right now. Without a sense of purpose that I can bring to the job, I'd find myself getting depressed and possibly relapsing. However, I'm able to activate my sense of purpose so that my 8 hours a day (not including travel) is not wasted.

My sense of purpose allows me to understand that if I continue to do well at this job, something better will show up for me. Also, I take the time and energy to get to know some of the people with whom I work, and I sometimes ride home with people I work with. I've found that many of the people I work with can relate one way or another to substance use and/or mental health issues. Also, I have plenty of time to practice silent affirmations while I'm at work.

I'm not a person who has a lot of internal motivation. I'm like an actor who can't do a role until s/he knows their motivation. I'm not the most ambitious boy on the block. I have, however, learned that I can instill within myself a sense of purpose that can masquerade as motivation or ambition. It's really knowing that whatever I'm engaging in, no matter what it looks like on the surface, is moving me in a direction that I want to go.

I believe that each moment I move forward with a sense of purpose, I am not only helping others, I am strengthening my own recovery.

Namasté,

Ken

The Resilience Factor

Resilience: 1. the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.  2. the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity. (Oxford English Dictionary)

Last week I was doing some online stuff before work started, and I ran into two disappointments, one of them financial. I thought about my options for a little bit, and then started work. There were no histrionics, no self-pity, no rending of my clothes and/or gnashing of my teeth (well, maybe a little gnashing - I'm a gnasher from way back), just simple acceptance of the way things were in that moment. I said a little prayer of thanks for resilience.

Later on, as I'm working and thinking, I'm thinking about the fact that I didn't do my morning routine of spiritual and inspirational readings and prayer either that day or the day before, and I'm beginning to wonder how long my resilience will last. Will something happen later on that will be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and sends me into negative thinking, self-pity, and depression? You see, in me, resilience is not something that I either have or I don't; it's a mindset that I acquire through certain practices.

I like the 2nd definition above a little more than the first. The 2nd definition reminds me of a live, healthy tree - it's got roots that go deep enough to support it and nourish it, and it has sap running through it's fibers that nourish its limbs and leaves. A healthy tree can often survive a strong storm - the winds may bend the tree and rustle its leaves, but when the storm is done, the tree will be back to its old self. Now, take a tree that has died, but is still standing - the sap has run out of it, and it's limbs are hard and rigid. A dead tree can be easily uprooted or have its limbs snap off in a storm because it's no longer resilient - it lacks the quality of elasticity which would allow it to be swayed and return to its original shape.

Resilience is an important part of recovery from addiction and mental illness. Resilience in this way can be likened to immunity - if my immune system is strong, I can resist acquiring infections, or if I do get infected, I will recover quickly. If I have a weak or compromised immune system, my body is much more likely to catch something, and it could create a serious and even life-threatening infection. Certain things like my age, my diet, whether or not I exercise and get enough sleep, and my reaction to stress are all factors in whether or not my immune system is healthy and strong. I keep my resiliency healthy in much the same way, with a few more things added.

I'd like to mention here that I do take prescribed medication to treat my mental health condition. The medication does not really make me more resilient; it allows me to get to a level of functioning whereby I am able to practice coping skills that will help me maintain my mental/emotional health and sobriety.

So now that my brain is banging on all 8 most of the time, what do I do to enhance my resiliency? (The following list is not ordered in importance, other than the first item).

• Abstain from alcohol and other mood-altering drugs. Kinda makes sense, and for me there's no quicker way to push resilience away than by beginning to use again.
• Take my mental health medication as prescribed, and consult my psychiatrist before making any changes. It feels good to go for a while without a depressive episode, but time without an episode does not mean I'm cured. Likewise, time without an episode does not make me immune. I need to let others help me manage my mental health (which is a big challenge for me, but can be done).
• Daily read spiritual material, pray, and meditate (or practice mindfulness). Ok, maybe these are in order of importance so far. I've been able to do this more consistently lately than ever before, and there are so many benefits to a consistent spiritual practice. Not only do I feel more connected to life, but the connection allows me to feel like life happens through me rather than to me, and this is an important factor in resilience. Another benefit is that staying connected spiritually gives me more power and motivation to do other healthy things for myself.
• Practice good sleep hygiene. Lack of good sleep contributes negatively to my resiliency. It's that simple.
• Eat healthily. Eating healthy foods makes me feel better inside, whereas eating junk and sugar can make me irritable and impatient, two feelings that do not contribute to resiliency.
• Play. Doing stuff just for fun reminds me that life isn't always as serious as my mind can make it out to be.
• Utilize support groups. Having places to share my experience, strength, and hope with others keeps me living in the solution. On my own, I have a tendency to live in the problem, which is not resilient. On my own, my mind narrows, and I don't see solutions.
• Utilize mentorship. Like support groups, mentorship allows me to learn new ways of living from someone I trust.
• Exercise. Exercise is healthy! And it releases certain natural chemicals that make my brain feel good. And I feel more whole when I exercise regularly. Exercise lowers my blood pressure and heartbeat. All of these things promote resilience.

Finding out what makes one resilient is a matter of reflection. Do stuff and see what happens. Meditate for a few days, and if someone cuts you off on the road and you don't get pissed, it might be from the meditation. Or eat straight sugar for 3 days, and if life begins to seem overwhelming, there might be a causal relationship.

The librarian is giving me the evil eye, so I will close here and maybe come back and edit. Thanks for reading!

Namasté,

Ken