Grow the Heck Up!

I had a bad day yesterday. Well, I didn't have a bad day, I had actually a really good day with some less-than-desirable moments, and, this morning, I'm focusing on those moments instead of the plenty of good and desirable moments that I had. 

I'm not for living in the past, but since I'm there anyway, let's take a look at it:

What caused me to tell myself this morning to 'grow up' are a few instances where, during times where I felt stuck or didn't know what to do next, I resorted to escapism and, for me, addictive behavior. I over-played an internet game of which I'm fond, I watched more stupid videos and read irrelevant articles on my phone than was necessary, I went off my diet and ate a bunch of Halloween candy (sorry, kids!), and I stayed up very late for no good reason. Yes, this is immature behavior, but telling me (or anyone) to 'grow the €#&@ up' is pejorative, unnecessary, and unhelpful.

So, while I'm in yesterday, I'm going to do a few things.

First, I'm going to forgive myself for being a less-than-perfect human being. I am in a challenging place right now, which is uncomfortable, and, at times, I resorted to activities that I've used in the past to comfort myself that are really less-than-skillful, and I also engaged in helpful and productive behavior to improve my situation.

Also, I'm not a bad little boy and I didn't do bad things. Again, I engaged in behavior in a way that was, in the long run, less-than-helpful to me. I am an adult, and I did also do things that were very helpful to me.

Next, I'm going to think of some downtime things to do today that are helpful and/or. productive, such as meditating (I've got a virtual ton of meditation resources), take a walk, read something relevant, or play a game, but set limits.

Ok, so I've objectively analyzed the events of yesterday, forgiven myself and given myself a hug and a pat on the back, and I'm sharing my experience with other adults because I know I'm not the only person in the world who struggles with engaging in unhelpful behaviors sometimes. Or a lot. And then I'm going to jump into my morning routine.

The things I mentioned above transform the negative things I did yesterday into positives for today. It's a lot more productive and healing than telling myself that I need to grow up. We'll see how it goes today; right now I'm expecting to do good things today with a minor stumble here and there.

Namaste

Ken

(written on and sent from my phone)