Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Happy New Year!

 My new year is on my birthday, which is today! Today I begin my 60th journey around the sun, and I am incredibly grateful to be on this journey. I think this is my best birthday ever (except I forgot to go to Denny's for a free meal. I was going to go, but I got busy doing other stuff, already ate, and I'm trying to lose weight anyway). 

Looking back on this past year, it doesn't look like it's been hard at all - it looks like success after success after success - but I know that there have been a lot of difficult moments. Shortly before my last relapse, which was a couple of days after my birthday last year, I was doing EMDR with my counselor. EMDR is a way of reframing traumatic memories, and I believe, despite the relapse, that it got me up to a certain level with which I could work. And on my birthday last year, I had a session with a practitioner (chaplain) of my church, and basically prayed that I know deep down that I'm a child of God. I've spoken much of my (and our) oneness with Spirit and the Universe, but I've never felt it inside. This past year I began to feel it. I began to realize my Oneness, that I have a place in this Universe, that I am loved, I am valuable and worthy, and I belong. These are the greatest gifts I've received this year, and out of these gifts springs gratitude and a joy for living that makes everything else possible.

Do you know how a dog sniffs the ground? Sometimes they're so into it that it's like they're obsessed! Or watch a dog riding down the road with the window down, joyfully getting blasted in the face with all the smells that are out there. That's how I feel about beginning to become conscious this year. As you probably know, I've been done with life many times in the past. It held no magic for me, no mystery, and was often just a daily dose of "let's see how I can make it through this day." And sometimes I didn't. I'm grateful for those who were there to help when I couldn't make it, and I'm grateful to have made it to this place where life seems wonderful and something I want to keep exploring. Life and consciousness are so much more than I ever thought they could be. It feels like I've touched the Infinite, and I want to keep going. It really is a miracle!

So my desires for this next year are to continue letting go of that which no longer serves me, to continue to increase my engagement with life, and to expand my effectiveness as I continue to learn how I can best serve others. I've received so much in this lifetime, it's time to give back! 

Thank you for being a part of my life, and I wish you all the joy that you can accept!

Namasté,

Ken


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