Happy New Year!

 My new year is on my birthday, which is today! Today I begin my 60th journey around the sun, and I am incredibly grateful to be on this journey. I think this is my best birthday ever (except I forgot to go to Denny's for a free meal. I was going to go, but I got busy doing other stuff, already ate, and I'm trying to lose weight anyway). 

Looking back on this past year, it doesn't look like it's been hard at all - it looks like success after success after success - but I know that there have been a lot of difficult moments. Shortly before my last relapse, which was a couple of days after my birthday last year, I was doing EMDR with my counselor. EMDR is a way of reframing traumatic memories, and I believe, despite the relapse, that it got me up to a certain level with which I could work. And on my birthday last year, I had a session with a practitioner (chaplain) of my church, and basically prayed that I know deep down that I'm a child of God. I've spoken much of my (and our) oneness with Spirit and the Universe, but I've never felt it inside. This past year I began to feel it. I began to realize my Oneness, that I have a place in this Universe, that I am loved, I am valuable and worthy, and I belong. These are the greatest gifts I've received this year, and out of these gifts springs gratitude and a joy for living that makes everything else possible.

Do you know how a dog sniffs the ground? Sometimes they're so into it that it's like they're obsessed! Or watch a dog riding down the road with the window down, joyfully getting blasted in the face with all the smells that are out there. That's how I feel about beginning to become conscious this year. As you probably know, I've been done with life many times in the past. It held no magic for me, no mystery, and was often just a daily dose of "let's see how I can make it through this day." And sometimes I didn't. I'm grateful for those who were there to help when I couldn't make it, and I'm grateful to have made it to this place where life seems wonderful and something I want to keep exploring. Life and consciousness are so much more than I ever thought they could be. It feels like I've touched the Infinite, and I want to keep going. It really is a miracle!

So my desires for this next year are to continue letting go of that which no longer serves me, to continue to increase my engagement with life, and to expand my effectiveness as I continue to learn how I can best serve others. I've received so much in this lifetime, it's time to give back! 

Thank you for being a part of my life, and I wish you all the joy that you can accept!

Namasté,

Ken

Happy New Day!

I was debating whether or not to post today. I can't in good conscience wish everyone a Happy New Year, because it's an empty wish. We don't get new years. We get new moments, new minutes, new days at best. January 1st, in the cosmic scheme of things, is no different than December 31st or January 2nd. It's simply a mark on a calendar.

Looking back, there are reasons to call 2017 my 'best' year ever. I've made more money in other years, so that's not what I'm talking about. 2017 is the year in which I've experienced the best mental health, the best sobriety, the best peace of mind, and the best purposeful living throughout this lifetime. However, if I try to ride 2017 into 2018 with the hopes that 2018 will be as good or better, by the time the end of 2018 rolls around, I'll be sorely disappointed.

I have heard, or read, and I think it was Emmet Fox, but I don't want to look it up right now - I've read that if I want to have a bright and happy future, I need to focus my attention on making today the best I can. If I do this consistently, my future will consistently get better. If I do it inconsistently or not at all, then I leave my life open to the vagaries of fate and chance. I have lived this, and I believe this.

I would love a better world, but I know that I won't get a better world until I start with allowing into my life the things that make me a better me, and letting go of the habits and beliefs that no longer serve me. Waking up and railing at the inconsistencies and injustices in the world around me does nothing except empower those inconsistencies and injustices. If there is something 'out there' that I think needs to change, then I need to look inside of myself and see what needs changing. I do see lots of injustice in the world around me, which indicates to me that I still have a lot of inner work to do.

One of the things that seems to have taken place over the last year (I've been noticing it more quite recently) is that I really am beginning to look at this life as an adventure and beginning to enjoy it. That's pretty neat! And I don't want to stop there.

I'm fairly aware of what's due for a change in me, and I am willing to work on it and allow others to support me in that change. And that's all I'm going to say! 

I won't wish you a Happy New Year, if you're reading this (or even if you're not) - that, to me, is like 'I wish you'd lose 50 pounds' or 'I wish you'd quit __________ (smoking, drinking, gambling, fill in the blank).' Whether or not your New Year is happy is your own business. However,

If I can do anything to support or enhance your desires and dreams, please let me know and I'll do what I can. And that's a promise.

I do hope that you have a safe and pleasant evening, doing what makes your heart sing.

Namaste,

Ken

Happy New Year!

Today is the 2nd day of my 56th journey around the Sun. 55 laps and I haven't quite got it right yet. Oh well.

I had heard several years ago the concept of celebrating the New Year on one's birthday, and it makes sense to me. If our lives are cyclical (or, an upward spiral, as some suggest), then it would make sense that the cycle begins on one's birthday (which for me was yesterday). Not January 1st, January 28th if you're Chinese, or sometime in September if you're Jewish.

I never really thought much about the new year before. It always seemed to be SSDY - same stuff, different year. I could count on a great deal of misery coming my way, and the only thing different would be the form it took. That's what made life interesting - will I be incarcerated? What job will I lose? Maybe I'll finally die! Yeah, not a real good outlook.

Fortunately, recovery gives me things to look forward to, and living by spiritual principles is great because I can never get them down perfectly. So, in general, I expect a year filled with challenging experiences leading to an even greater appreciation of life, including my own.

Specifically, here are some of the things I'd like to work on:

• Treating my body more respectfully and lovingly by consistently eating healthier and continuing to gain physical strength;
• Continuing to treat my mind better by becoming more choosy with the thoughts I allow to reside there;
• Continuing to grow in the self-discipline area, with emphasis on vocational training and fiscal responsibility;
• Continuing to release fear and become more open to giving and receiving love from my fellow human beings.

Other than that, not much. But seriously, I'm about to cry now because this is the first time in my entire life that I'm really looking forward to the adventure instead of wondering how I'll muddle through.

Thank you so much to my fellow travelers for your kindness and support!

Namaste,

Ken