Individualized Recovery

As a Certified Peer Specialist, I am grateful that we use SAMHSA's definition of recovery as a guide. As a person in recovery, I'm glad it's there - I needed validation that the things I am doing to stay sane and sober are ok. When I was first exposed to recovery at the tender age of 21, I was, pretty much, a nothing. I was whatever I thought you thought I should be. I was very good at it, which was not a good thing for my own recovery - when I did the things I was told to do to get better, I did them well (sometimes over-the-top well) in order to please others in recovery. Because these things I was told to do worked for others, I was unaware that there might be other things I could be doing. Also, because I was unable to be honest about what I really thought and how I really felt, nobody could tell me that what I was doing for my recovery might not be all that I needed. So I would do what I was told to do, and fail. And I repeated this process at least 15 times in a 32 year period.  It's been a long road to get on the road to finding me.

These are the things that I've experienced that I believe are necessary for recovery from both alcoholism/addiction and mental health conditions:

• A desire to recover (yes, not everybody who is sick desires recovery).
• Honesty -  with oneself and others.
• Acceptance that one has a condition which is currently controlling their lives in an undesirable way.
• Surrender to the fact that the person experiencing the condition(s) does not have the wherewithal alone to change, which brings about a sense of
• Humility - the person having the condition begins to understand that, powerful and knowledgeable as they are, they don't have all the answers.
• Open-mindedness to hear and listen to ideas about how to get better that may seem strange or make no sense.
• Hope for recovery, which most often comes from others in recovery.
• Trust or faith  in the process of recovery (which may include faith in a higher power, faith in a mentor, or simply faith in the process).
• Courage to face all the unpleasant-at-first things a person has to face in order to recover.
• Willingness to do things for recovery that the person might not like or might not believe will work.
• Connection or community with like-minded, supportive individuals.
• Purpose - the person in recovery develops a sense of purpose out of necessity - often, addiction and mental health conditions drain any sense of purpose from our lives. Often this purpose involves being of service to others, especially those afflicted with the same condition.
• Perseverance is required because recovery doesn't take place in a day, a week, or a month, and the process isn't a straight line up. There are often pitfalls and relapses, and recovery takes consistent and almost constant effort.
• A sense of safety - in their living environment, in the people in their lives, and, sometimes, safety from one's own actions.

These principles of recovery all 3 things in common:

• They are interconnected;
• Nobody can be perfect at practicing these principles;
• They are spiritual. 

A couple examples of interconnectedness: the desire to recover usually brings about some willingness, which has an element of courage and helps to give hope. Surrender leads to humility which will eventually require acceptance of what is.

And, because we are dynamic beings, and because we are either growing or dead, the depth to which we practice these principles is infinite. For instance, one may be committing a huge act of honesty when s/he finally admits that they are addicted to a substance; however, when one goes further, s/he finds honesty in telling other truths about themselves, which causes them to take a more honest look at their behavior and patterns in their lives, which brings about even more honesty. 

And how are these recovery principles spiritual? One, because the practice of these principles all require us to go against what our egos tell us is best, and two, the practice of these principles will lead the person in recovery to see that the earth does not revolve around him or her, that they are not alone (at least in having this condition), and that there is something taking place (recovery) that is bigger than him or her. Eventually, a person feels an authentic connection to others or even the Universe that wasn't there before. The person in recovery begins to feel a sense of belonging - first to their recovery community, then maybe to the rest of humanity, and possibly to the Universe. Usually it goes in this order.

Here is where individualized recovery comes in, and I will share my experience: I am a unique individual. Although I have more in common with the rest of the human race than I ever thought possible, there are certain things about me that are unique to me. One is my perspective. If a friend and I view a sunset, it is likely that we won't both have the same exact reaction to the same sunset. If I'm driving west and my friend is my passenger, the sunset may irritate me while enthralling her. Or, if we're standing at the shore of an ocean, our own past experience and how we're feeling in the moment will color our perception of this event. 

My experience of life is not exactly like anyone else's experience of life. Again there are many similarities, but there are things that also make our experience unique. Even siblings growing up in the same family can have a different experience of their parents. My own experience is that my experience with my parents is vastly different than my brother's and sister's experience with the same two people. Why? Lots of factors - my own illness, my parents' ages when my siblings were born as opposed to when I was born, and whatever issues my parents went through themselves, just to name a few.

My own illnesses brought me into experiences which aren't shared by everyone on the planet, and these experiences have colored my view of myself, of humanity, of life, and of God in a manner unique to me. Additionally, having co-occurring conditions seems to make recovery more challenging, so, seeing others recovering while I wasn't brought me a lot of shame, which I had to eventually deal with in order to recover. When I was in jail, I would often get the label 'smart' or 'intelligent', which was a non sequitir to me - if I'm so smart, what am I doing in jail? And that comment alone added to my shame.

I have my own likes and dislikes, which change over time, and my own beliefs that came from the culture and family in which I was raised. I become aware in recovery how this affects my recovery. 

SAMHSA's view is that recovery is individualized as well as person-driven. Given all that I've mentioned that makes me unique, this makes sense to me. This means that as a person in recovery, I need to be (or learn to be) sensitive to these things within myself so I can let my care providers and others to whom I'm connected in recovery know what has shaped my life. As a peer specialist, I need to understand that whomever I'm working with is unique, too, and to get to know that person as much as I can so that I can serve them as well as I possibly can. It really is a lot of work, but it's good work - for me, much of the richness of life comes from getting to know me and others who inhabit this planet with me.

My whole point in writing this: To remind myself, and possibly to inform others, that the recovery path is not a one-size fits all type of deal. If we truly want others to recover from mental illness and addiction, we have to make connections to we can learn as much as possible about what will aid recovery. Unfortunately, we seem geared in western society toward quick fixes and a take-a-pill approach that may seem to work in the short run, but can be damaging in the long run. However, I believe that the more we persist in looking for long-term solutions, the more knowledgeable and effective we'll become at healing our dis-ease. There is a solution, and it is in each one of us.

Namasté, 

Ken