It's been raining a lot lately, and communities in the region are experiencing flooding. If I find myself in a body of water that wasn't there before, or really any body of water, I've got a few choices. The easiest one, of course, is to let the water overwhelm me and drown. Another choice might be to thrash around and yell until somebody notices me and rescues me. Another might be just to sit or stand where I am and hope the water subsides or a rescue boat floats by. And perhaps a fourth choice would be to learn to swim - to understand that perhaps I can work with the water that surrounds me, use it to lift me up and maybe even carry me to dry land.
I mention this because I consciously tried something a little different today while at work. I came in to work today with my agenda of things I wanted to do, knowing full well that it was unlikely to go exactly as I wanted it to go. And, sure enough, today, for some reason, I was flooded with urgent calls that had nothing to do with what I planned to do. Part of my job is to take care of the callers, so that's what was mine to do. Really every time I got a call today, the phone would ring again halfway through the call with someone else needing assistance - they'd leave a message (or not, bless their heart), and I'd call back to assist them. And I log all of my calls too, so there's time used for that.
For those of us in recovery, stuff like this can throw us. Probably for everybody, but those of us in recovery need to be able to get back to some equilibrium - stress is something that needs attention so that we don't become symptomatic. Now, I don't freak out over lots of unexpected stuff to do, but it has in the past drained me quite a bit, and sometimes irritated me and lowered my emotional state.
I've been learning lately to put my emotional state - my 'vibe', as it were - first. That sounds counterproductive - isn't that what I did when I was actively using alcohol? Isn't that self-centered? Not when done properly with the right intention.
First of all, how am I viewing the flood? I learned early in recovery that what works best is to take things as they come, and not judge them as good or bad. Floods have their purpose, and, while not necessarily pleasant, they can have value. In other words, this is what is in front of me and it is mine to do - no bitching, whining, or trying to run away from it. I've had to re-learn this throughout recovery, because as I gain more stability and confidence and my skills sharpen, I'm prone to begin to believe again that I actually know what I'm doing and can run my own show. In other words, ego begins to grow. So I'm reminded as the waters rise that it's time for me to set aside what I wanted to do and take care of the business at hand as best I can.
One of the things I just thought of is that I have a 'reject' button on my phone that, when pressed, sends an incoming call right to voice mail. I'm grateful I didn't even think of doing that.
Anyway, as I'm taking care of this 'extra' business, I can feel the stress level in my body rise. A few months ago, I posted a video that talked about how stress can actually be beneficial when viewed and responded to correctly. So today, being conscious of my stress along with the direction my feeling state was headed, I was able to take some action to turn today's flood into a good experience, and the action I took was purely mental - all I did was instead of inwardly complaining about the calls and worrying whether I'd get 'my' stuff done, was I changed my attitude.
Everything is energy. We don't necessarily see it, but it is. So I had this unexpected energy coming at me today. My choices were to resist it as much as possible, escape it somehow, or, ride the wave of energy. When we resist, we're using our own energy to push against something, and we deplete ourselves. When I escape, I may save my energy, but I lower my emotional feeling state, and that can cause me to do negative things later on. If I can ride the energy coming at me, I can get through it until it dissipates, and not lose my own energy or my emotional well-being. Although I'm not a practitioner of the martial arts, I think that that's the same thing martial artists do. Be ok with the wave and just ride it.
Today is the first time I've intentionally done this, and it really worked well. Notice the wave, keep my emotional state 'above water' by not judging the wave, ride it and do what I have to do with it, and move on. And give thanks for the wherewithal to handle what comes my way.
One of the things to remember, I think, is when the wave is over, stop riding it. I handled all the calls and requests; the people who called have stuff to do on their end, but now it's theirs; I don't have to concern myself with it, and I can go back to doing what I was doing.
I'm really grateful for today's lesson.
Namasté,
Ken
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