Full Circle

I've lived long enough now to have a couple or more "full-circle" experiences. That's where I look back and see that I'm in a very similar spot today as I was 20 or 30 years ago. These are neat experiences, because I can say today I'm doing things differently - I'm handling life more skillfully.

So, today's full-circle experience is this: 

About 30 years ago, I was attending my 2nd university, and I got a job as a personal care attendant. I helped 3 students who had spinal cord injuries with some basic needs. I have forgotten exactly how I came to do this kind of work; I think it's because a friend of mine who was a survivor of polio turned me on to it. I'm going to note here that I didn't do the best job I could have - I was drinking from time to time at that time, and it interfered with me being on-call. I'm not that great at waking up and getting up when I'm sober; when I'm not sober, it can't be done at all.

I left my second university to enter into my second inpatient treatment for alcoholism. From treatment, I went to a halfway house. While I was at the halfway house, I secured a temporary position at a rehab/sheltered workshop for adults with TBI (traumatic brain injury) and developmental disabilities. I was an assistant to a man who had been injured in a car accident.

At the same facility I gained regular employment as a behavioral aide and a training instructor. I also began working for the county's developmental disabilities service agency - I was a CIA - a Community Integration Assistant. This was shortly after the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed, and the county in which I was living and working had group homes for adults who were previously institutionalized. One of the provisions of the ADA is that people with disabilities have the right to live in the least restrictive environment possible. Because of this, many people who had been confined to institutions were now living in CBRFs and group homes. My job was to take clients into the community for things like shopping or leisure time activities. It was a good part time job.

I was sober a lot of the time that I had these jobs, but there were times when I wasn't, and my drinking had a negative impact on my performance (which is a really nice way of saying that I was a f*#%-up when drinking). 

The county agency for which I was working was bought by Lutheran Social Services, so, for a time, I was an employee. I quit in protest when they refused to hire the head of the agency they took over. At that time, I learned how effective quitting in protest is.

So, fast forward about 30 years - I am working for LSS again, as an Addictions Support Professional (something like that), and in January I will transition to full-time employment with NAMI as a Peer Program Assistant. Like my previous employment with non-profit agencies decades ago, I sort of fell into these jobs. Or was led into them. I haven't ever really consciously sought to do the type of work it seems I'm best at. My conscious brain (aka 'little me') wants to make a lot of money and have a position the seems prestigious to others. However, today I learn to listen less to 'little me' and more to my heart, which seems to know what it's doing. 

A really nice thing is that I get to make amends, in a way. I'm a much better servant today of those who need serving that I've ever been before in my life. And today I am a trusted and reliable employee. That's one of the greatest blessings of full-circles - the chance to do things differently.

Namaste,

Ken