Community

I moved to the community in which I now live almost 3 years ago. The reason in my mind was two-fold - I wanted to get out of the community I lived in at that time, which happens to be the same community in which I physically grew up, and I wanted to be closer to where most of the people I know live.

I got a whole lot more than I expected. I found a home.

All of my life I've wanted to be somewhere else. That is such a sad statement, but it's true. I used to hate the community in which I grew up physically (I say 'physically' because I'm not done growing up emotionally or spiritually). When I turned 18, I moved away from that community into a community that I thought I'd like a lot better. I did. But I didn't find a home. I didn't belong there, either.

Then I spent a lot of time moving around and roaming. I didn't know I was looking for a home. Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was just moving around and roaming. Maybe I was still trying to move away from that which I hated - myself.

Then, in a really misguided attempt to reconcile with my past, I moved back to the community in which I grew up physically. You've probably heard of taking a second bite of the same shit sandwich. Yep, that's it alright.

Then I moved here. I didn't feel at home immediately, but the past several months I've noticed that I really, really like living here. And the reason I mention it is because it is a strange, new, wonderful feeling. I was walking down the street I live on this morning, looking at the houses and the lawns and breathing the air, and loving where I was. I like the fact that every day when I go somewhere in my new hometown I see somebody I know.

A few weeks ago at work I had occasion to speak to someone from Mt. Airy, North Carolina. I said to her, "Now, it's my understanding that Mt. Airy is Mayberry, is that correct?" and she said it was. Then I said, "That must be a very nice place to live," and she said it was.

I like it here because I can be me here. I like it here because, for some reason, I feel like I'm supposed to be here. I like the river, I like the parks, I like the people I've met and I'm going to meet. I don't like the traffic, but I haven't driven in a year, so so what?

So, for whatever reason, I am home. I don't know if I'll always live here. I'll go where life takes me. But I get the feeling that moving forward, wherever I go, I'll be at home.

Namaste,

Ken