Sowing Seeds

I felt really good this morning. I felt right with myself, right with the world, ok with the weather, and right with what was mine to do today. It's not often that I feel right in so many areas. Instead of just enjoying it, I feel compelled to analyze it. One of my past wives said that was a character defect of mine - always analyzing. She might have been right, but in this case it helped confirm something I had read earlier this week.

One of my readings earlier this week said something about the happiest people are more concerned with the seeds they sow today rather than the harvest they reap today. That makes a lot of sense to me, and perhaps I feel good today because of some seeds I sowed yesterday, or last week, or 3 years ago.

My ideal approach to any given day is to know deep down that I have absolutely everything I need today - that it is already provided to me by God, Spirit, Source, the Universe, Life, whatever I choose to call It today - the great energy that flows in me an through me and everything else and keeps everything going. So, anyway, I have everything I need, so I don't have to worry about getting, because whatever I've got coming will come to me today. All I have to concern myself with is giving. What shall I give today? To whom will I give it? How will I give it?

By the way, the neat thing about giving is that giving confirms that I have something, because it's impossible to give what I don't have. That's fairly simple, isn't it?

So giving is like sowing. Jesus mentioned once or twice that we reap what we sow. That can be taken in an ominous way - for instance, if I sow violence, I will get violence back. If I spread seeds of hatred, I'll reap fruits of hatred. But I like to take it in a positive way. If I am a friend to someone today, someone will be a friend to me tomorrow (or next Tuesday, or next year). If I love today, I'll receive love back (sometime). If I give encouragement, I'll be encouraged when I need it. Kind words today come back in kind words in the future. Forgiveness - that's big - if I forgive today, I'll be forgiven. (I think Jesus said that, too - "forgive us our debts, as (in the same manner) we forgive our debtors." If I listen to someone today, then I'll be listened to. Everybody wants to be heard, right?

My unhappiest times are times of unfulfilled expectations. I've spent a large chunk of my life and a great deal of energy trying to get what I wanted. And the curious thing is that if I do actually get what I think I want, I'm very often dissatisfied and unhappy with it. Or I want more and more and more. It's tough trying to be happy living on the basis of never having enough and always needing more.

So, when I switch my purpose from getting to giving, or from reaping to sowing, I can find satisfaction. I can find peace, and I can experience acceptance and joy.

I've been continuously sober for nearly a year now ( I think I mentioned that in my last post). I've had a number of really nice experiences today (Saturday, May 14, 2016). 51 weeks ago, I did not plan any of them. Not a one. I was led into what happened today by my choices of previous days. I have what I have today because of the seeds I've sown previous days.

I should mention a couple of things here: 1, I'm not a slow learner, I'm a quick forgetter - in other words, in any given moment, I'm prone to forget what really works, and go back to my way of doing things, which is acquire, acquire, acquire; and, 2, no matter what, I can always go back to being a sower. Even in my lowest moments, I can find something to give. I've done it before. I've been on empty a number of times in my life, and when I flicked the switch of willingness, I've found something I could give. And when I found it and gave it, I found more. And more. And more. And then my pattern is to think that I have something to do with it all, other than being an instrument, and I begin to try to dictate and direct how things go. And then I'm back at #1 - forgetting what I know works best.

Very fortunately, the times I spend in forgetfulness seem to be getting less frequent and less intense. It doesn't take as long for me to see that I've got the lens turned around again.

I've already got everything I need, and all I need is to give it back.

Namaste,

Ken