Faith: A Simple Yet Effective Example

 Years ago, when talking and listening about "turning it over" and "letting go" in recovery meetings (lessons in faith), an image came to me that fit in my brain what that was all about. The image was of hiring a lawyer (or any professional, really) to do my bidding for me, or to do what I am unable to do on my own. I'm not very sure how effective that image was for me, and back then I was more of a spiritual theorist than an actual participant in living a spiritual life. Very fortunately, when I don't get a message or a lesson the first time (or second, third fourth...), the Universe always sees fit to provide me with yet another lesson. This past week, when I actually had occasion to hire a lawyer to take care of a mess I had created, I was reminded of the theory about faith that had come to me many years ago. This time, I'm able to add a little more flesh, and hopefully real-life experience, to the theory.

So in my last post, I wrote about a misdemeanor that I committed in Las Vegas nearly 12 years ago and skipped out on. I expressed the desire to resolve this issue so that I can move on to bigger and better things while I live in this area. One of my options, which I didn't mention in my last post, is to travel to Las Vegas and turn myself in. I know that the police department there and the judicial system would accommodate me. Then I could spend some time in jail until I had a hearing or two in front of a judge and see what we could do to resolve this. This is one way of getting it done; however, my life is really stable right now, and taking this action would destabilize it. I desire to resolve my legal issue while maintaining the stability I'm currently experiencing, and I need help doing that, so I hired a lawyer. I have confidence and faith that comes from my intuition that my legal situation will now be resolved in a way that is mutually beneficial to everybody. An ingredient to this faith is the knowing I have that my Creator wants only the best for me and is constantly giving me guidance on the path to my highest good - so my attitude isn't, "I've got to beat this case;" it's more along the lines of resolution - again, finding a solution and then moving on.

Okay. So I hired the lawyer by sending him a $xxx deposit and signing a contract with him. Here is where the issue of "turning it over" effectively is fleshed out. And the problem with me, and possibly many people, is not a lack of faith - I've got plenty of that - but in two things: how I understand faith, and how I direct it. When I spoke with him on the phone, he asked me, "So I assume you'd like to avoid jail time?" and I agreed. Avoiding incarceration has not been guaranteed, but that's the destination we're keeping in mind. As stated earlier, if I want to go to jail, I know how to do that. And an attorney who took my money and then said, "Ok, show up at the Clark County Justice Center and your warrant will be quashed and your case will be resolved," probably would not stay in business very long. So I hire the lawyer with a certain end in mind. I don't expect to get off scot-free, but I am hoping to get this thing done with as painlessly as possible.

The contract I signed with the attorney said, to me, basically two things: that the attorney would use all of his knowledge, experience, and connections to get me the best deal possible, and that he would do this all for $xxx if possible. Here are the 5 things that might make me have to pay extra to get the job done:

Events that may cause attorney to engage in hourly billing include, but are not limited to: (1) the other party’s unwillingness to cooperate in litigation; (2) Client making unreasonable demands upon the Attorney; (3) Client failing to communicate with Attorney; (4) Client taking steps that Attorney has not authorized or advised that are adverse to Client’s case; or (5) Client’s case is, or becomes, complex and requires extensive work beyond the retainer stated herein.

So it becomes fairly clear to me that at least 60% of the outcome in this matter is dependent upon what I do or don't do. Furthermore, I've been informed that if the job at hand takes more than the initial deposit I put down, that I will be billed at an hourly rate of $350/hour! Now, at that rate, it becomes way less expensive for me to just go up to Vegas and sit some time; however, I better know that if that's the outcome, the responsibility is mine, nobody else's.

What are the elements of faith in this example, and what are my responsibilities? First, I've allowed this person to become a higher power in my life regarding this matter. I've come to allowing this because I did try on my own to see if I could resolve it myself, and found that I couldn't. I chose this attorney through some direction from the Nevada Bar Association, my own intuition, and my own judgment. Also added in is some humility - even though I have a lot of experience with the legal system, and even though I've watched hours and hours of Matlock, LA Law, and Law and Order, I've conceded that my attorney's knowledge, experience, and wisdom outweigh my own. So I've put trust and faith in him.

Second, because I've already conceded that my attorney can do a better job, I'm going to let him. I'm following his instructions - I'm being honest, and I'm refraining from meddling in his job, and I'm trusting that if he needs more information from me to do a good job, he will ask. 

Third, I've let go of any doubt or anxiety surrounding what it going to happen. This is a practice that gets better with time and, well, practice! I note that throughout my life, when I've let go of doubt, fear, and anxiety about my own well-being, things turn out better than I expected. It really is that simple.

Lastly, I am willing to accept whatever the outcome of this is. In fact, when I've taken the steps of cultivating faith and pointing it in the right direction, the outcome no longer becomes important. I recognize that the important experience is the journey itself (practicing faith) rather than the destination.

In the recovery program I was brought up in, which has steps, members often explain the first 3 steps in the following way: I can't, He can, and I let him. In this example, I can't effectively represent myself in getting this matter resolved; I believe he (my attorney) can, so the wise part of me is going to let him do his job without interference. And lastly, because I've committed to turning this case over to my attorney, I'm going to accept the results. By the way, I do have a couple ideas of how things might turn out, but I'm not married to any of those ideas. It's like going to Disney World - if I plan a rigid itinerary of what I'd like to do and experience, I increase the odds of becoming disappointed; however, if I just show up with the idea in mind that I'm going to have a good time, I most likely will.

For me, this is a good example of how faith works when I have an understanding of what faith is and when I'm directing it skillfully. Again, it is less about getting what i think i want out of a situation and more about learning how to trust and believe in my Creator to lead me to becoming the best person I am destined to become and doing the things that will allow me to live an enriching life abundantly. The biggest difference in the example I've given and other faith examples in my life is that I often have more footwork to do than I do in today's example. 

I will be writing more about faith in the coming days, because this experience has sparked a lot of reflection about faith, and how I use it both consciously and unconsciously, skillfully and unskillfully.

I appreciate your allowing me to share my journey with you.

Namasté,

Ken