Fear Sells

I don't watch TV news regularly anymore - not having a TV helps with that quite a bit. I discovered that the script was the same for each newscast, it was just the names that changed - who killed who, which politician was found to be a child molester, how bad the economy is, etc. The newscasts go on, even though I rarely watch them, but my view of life improves. Today I have more choice in what I choose to focus on, and I learn every day how to focus on what is good in life, good in people, and good in me. And it is a Universal Law that what I focus on increases. As it turns out, I have my work cut out for me, as I have a long history of focusing on the negative, and it takes a long time to create new neural pathways so that I can learn to automatically focus on what is going right with me rather than what is going wrong. It can be done, though.

Our society is such that very often we get into a state of what singer-songwriter Jana Stanfield has termed, "Too much not-enoughism." Each day we're told, in one way or another, ways in which we're lacking, or things that we should fear. Much of the time, we accept this without question. We accept what the media and politicians tell us is wrong with us and wrong with our country and the world. Very rarely are we told that, as far as human beings living on this planet at this time in the United States, we've got it made. (I know I have some international readers, so this may not be true for them). If one thinks about what one has today compared with what their parents and grandparents had, it's easy to see that, in a relative way, we are living in safe times and in the lap of luxury.

I'm not a social commentator. Well, I am, sort of, but that's not my aim here. My aim here is to write about my experience in learning how to view this world, this life, and myself in a way which is constructive and contributes to my mental, emotional, and physical well being, and hopefully to the well-being of those with whom I have contact.

I know that mental illness and alcoholism feeds on fear - fear of what the consequences of my behavior might be, fear of the future, fear of people, and what they may do to me, fear that I'll never be good enough, fear of (fill in the blank). When fear overwhelms me, I crawl inside my safe (but miserable) little shell and begin to self-destruct.

Alcohol erased those fears - for a minute. Other drugs and other behaviors did, too - but when the fears returned, they were bigger and stronger than before, and I discovered that there's not enough booze distilled to drown my fears. So what is my solution?

My solution is not to keep looking outside of myself for the solution. My solution is to continually discover that I am not alone (that is simply an illusion of physical reality), that I am one part of a greater whole, and that I am, in Truth, always connected, and that I am already equipped with everything I need to live an abundant, joyous, productive creative life.

One of the methods I like to use to visualize this concept is to go out into nature. As I look at an oak tree, for instance, I realize that at one time this oak was an acorn on the ground. It needed no instruction to begin to germinate, and to eventually become the oak it is today. Today that oak knows when to shed its leaves and when to grow new ones. The oak has available to it all it needs to survive, and it doesn't need to be told to breath in carbon dioxide and to give back oxygen, which helps give life to the squirrels and birds and such that live around it. The oak tree probably doesn't fret when it rains or when it's cold, and doesn't get angry when a squirrel has the audacity to build its home in its branches.

The oak tree probably is not really aware that some oaks are bigger and some are smaller, and I doubt that the oak would like to be a maple tree next year. The oak does what it does for its life-cycle, caring not whether it's going to get what it needs, or how it appears to the other oaks, or if it smells bad, or how much it will gain during its lifetime. And at the end of its life, it returns to the ground from which it came to provide nutrients to other plants, animals, and insects (or it provides toasty, cozy evenings to humans who cut it up and warm their homes with it). The oak tree doesn't question its purpose, nor does it wonder whether it measures up as an oak. I've got a lot to learn from that oak tree.

So, how does studying an oak tree help me get rid of my fear of living? I can recognize today that, just as the oak did not decide one day to become an oak, I did not create myself. Something or someone else did. So, there is something greater at work here. There is a process happening of which I am mostly unaware most of the time. But the same process that supports the oak through its lifetime is also supporting me through my lifetime, and supporting all life everywhere, despite any outward appearances.

This is not the only method I use to support my mental health and my sobriety by far, but it is the basis - for me, I have to know that my life has purpose, meaning, and value, and that I am safe and loved.

When I look for things to fear, I find them. Doom and disaster lurks just around the corner. When I look for things to live for and for people to support me and walk through this experience together, I find people and experiences that help me to experience life in a new way, with less fear.

Namaste,

Ken