In former posts I have shared a little about some of the organizations I utilize to support my recovery. The organizations to which I belong are very important to me. Every human being has value and worth simply by virtue of being here. That is the Truth. I understand that concept in my head, and I can understand it for others, but I have difficulty most of the time understanding it for myself in my heart. When out there in the world, I can easily get lost. I don't know who I am, and when I look to others to figure that out, I end up comparing, and I usually end up on the short side. I am unable to recognize on my own what a truly wonderful and unique expression of Spirit I am, and I go back to the old belief that I can't fit it, I can't measure up, and I might as well be dead.
Fortunately, I have found groups of people with shared experiences who are on the same path as I am. One of these groups is the Waukesha Chapter of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). When I began my recovery a little over a year ago, it was suggested to me by more than one person that I might check out a NAMI support group. Even though I've made a home in substance abuse recovery groups for years, I was reticent about checking out NAMI or any other mental health support groups. A bunch of people sitting around talking about their mental illnesses did not sound like a very fun time. It sounded sort of depressing, and I didn't need any help in getting depressed - I manage that pretty well on my own!
But, because I was desperate and willing to do anything to recover, I went to Care Connection. (Please at this point read my disclaimer to the right, underneath the copyright notice - my views are a culmination of over a 1/2 century's experience, and I've gotten a lot of ideas from a lot of sources. Some of those ideas don't necessarily agree with the ideas put forth in the organizations I may attend, so I claim them as my own and not anyone else's. Capiche?). Care Connection is one of NAMI - Waukesha's support groups. It is for both individuals who have experienced mental illness and for the loved ones of those who have experienced/are experiencing mental illness. Loved ones are affected, too! just like with alcoholism. Anyway, at Care Connection, I found I related to the people there. That was surprising to me. An even better surprise was that these people seemed to be living in the solution (mental health), not in the problem (mental illness). It wasn't depressing! It was interesting! It was fun!
Most of all, I began to discover that I have a voice.
I brought all of me to these groups. They are a safe haven for those of us with beautiful minds. As I've mentioned before, I've been attending substance abuse recovery groups for a long time. There I would watch people work a program of recovery from substance abuse, and I'd see them get better. There I tried to work a program of recovery, and I would stay sober, and inside I'd get worse. And sometimes I felt different and less-than. Here I was in a strong group with other recovering alcoholics and addicts, and there was something missing in me. There was something wrong with me.
Because I hadn't ever accepted that I have another mental illness besides substance abuse, I had rarely looked for another or an additional vehicle for recovery. I spent a lot of years in pain and misery when the answer was just next door. Now I utilize both NAMI support groups and the substance abuse recovery groups.
At Care Connection I found support, understanding, friendship, and compassion. As I continued on the path, I also began going to a Thursday night peer support group held at the NAMI office. And I enrolled in, participated, and completed a 10-week Peer-to-Peer course which focused on mental health, wellness, and recovery for anyone experiencing a mental health challenge. And then, I was asked to be a Peer Mentor, which involved learning to facilitate the Peer-to-Peer program. And then, I became involved with Stories of Hope, where pairs of us in recovery share our stories of recovery with patients in various mental health treatment programs. And this weekend, I will be going for training to be a Peer Support Group facilitator. Additionally, I also volunteer at the NAMI office, which is fun and enriching.
My involvement with NAMI does a number of things for me:
1. It keeps me in recovery - my commitment to NAMI means to me that I must stay in recovery if I want to be involved;
2. It gives me a vehicle to be of service to others. I can share my experience with recovery with others;
3. It broadens my world - I've met people this past year that I never would have dreamed of meeting, and they're in my life and I am grateful;
4. It gives me a safe and supportive place where I can be me while at the same time develop and grow into an even better me.
5. It gives me lots of stuff to think about and write about, and it gives me hope.
I have heard than when the student is ready, the teacher appears, and I believe this to be the Truth. I spent a lot of time getting ready, lemme tell ya, but I've also been given the most awesome teachers.
Namaste,
Ken
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