No Comparison

One of the common threads of addiction and mental/emotional unwellness is the belief that we are less-than; that, as we are, we aren't enough and probably never will be. I don't know if this false belief is the chicken or the egg, but once it's deeply rooted, it feeds on itself and proves itself over and over again. It is essential to my recovery that I reverse this belief. 

Last night I met with a group of people to do a little spiritual exploring. I had only met one person in this group once before; I had never consciously met the other 6 people there. There were a lot of notable things that happened last night, but for the purposes of this post, I'm going to focus on this: Even though I didn't really know these folks, and even though I didn't know exactly what we'd be doing, I felt totally comfortable and at home among them. I will note that nobody asked me who I was, why was I there, where I was from, what I did for work, how old I was, if I was single or married, if I was in recovery, or any of that. I was among a group of people for whom those things don't matter, and they didn't matter to me, either. 

So, today I recognize that by being myself, and not trying to be anybody else, I am led to situations and people that are right for me. This is a big turnaround for me, and relatively recent. It's awesome because I've spent most of my life trying (and failing) to measure up to people around me. There is a great sense of freedom and serenity in not having to measure up.

I grew up with the belief that I was pretty useless, and would never measure up. Looking back, I can see the biggest error of my ways was that I never shared with others what I thought about myself or how I felt inside - therefore, I never received any arguments to my thinking, and I didn't realize it was flawed thinking. And I reinforced my thinking every step of the way. I remember very well being about 5 or 6 and looking at my brother's or sister's mathematics book, not understanding it a bit, and feeling stupid and thinking, "I'll never be able to do that." Which became the truth - I never did master algebra; however, most 6 year old children do not have a grasp on algebra - I was comparing myself to people who had lived twice as long as I had, and feeling bad because I didn't measure up. I look back on that today, and I'm like, "Doh!" But it was very real to me. And so it continued - I compared myself to those around me, and even in my age group I was never the smartest, cutest, brightest, fastest, strongest, nicest, funniest. Never!

And the incredibly sad part is I was also never the best me I could be, because I was always trying to be like somebody else. 

Five years ago around this time, I understood that if I were to live, I'd have to learn to be authentic. What does that mean? What does that look like? At it's very core, being authentic means I am unashamedly myself. I stop apologizing for who I am. (Please note that I still apologize when I wrong or hurt someone). I stop shaming myself when someone else doesn't think I measure up. I begin to put into practice the idea that I was created with my unique set of gifts for a reason, and I stop trying to justify myself  or my existence to myself or to others. I begin following a path that feels right inside. I begin releasing the expectations that I think others have put on me. 

And this is an important point, and the one that I drive home with myself and those with whom I work: Even though I was given a certain set of expectations by the society and family in which I was raised, in the end, it is my responsibility to listen to my inner guide, my higher self, and follow Its guidance. I begin to find out what brings me joy and peace, and put more attention on doing those things and becoming the same person on the outside that I am on the inside. 

It means moving into alignment - with God, if you will, or my higher self, or my conscience. Finding this alignment, this peace with who I really am, is essential to my recovery - when I am at peace with how I'm showing up in the world, I  don't find it necessary to drink alcohol or use drugs. There is no inner conflict that needs to be quelled; if I want to change my mood, I do it by placing my attention on what makes me feel the way we want to feel.

One of the great benefits of allowing myself to be me is that I begin to allow others to be themselves as well. I drop the comparisons. I stop assuming I know what is best for you. Even better, I become more concerned with getting to know your insides rather than your outsides. The Truth begins to take on more importance than the illusion. And I'm not very concerned with how you view me.

Life is less frustrating for me today, more enjoyable, more peaceful, more real, more purposeful. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Namasté,

Ken

Riding the Wave

It's been raining a lot lately, and communities in the region are experiencing flooding. If I find myself in a body of water that wasn't there before, or really any body of water, I've got a few choices. The easiest one, of course, is to let the water overwhelm me and drown. Another choice might be to thrash around and yell until somebody notices me and rescues me. Another might be just to sit or stand where I am and hope the water subsides or a rescue boat floats by. And perhaps a fourth choice would be to learn to swim - to understand that perhaps I can work with the water that surrounds me, use it to lift me up and maybe even carry me to dry land. 

I mention this because I consciously tried something a little different today while at work. I came in to work today with my agenda of things I wanted to do, knowing full well that it was unlikely to go exactly as I wanted it to go. And, sure enough, today, for some reason, I was flooded with urgent calls that had nothing to do with what I planned to do. Part of my job is to take care of the callers, so that's what was mine to do. Really every time I got a call today, the phone would ring again halfway through the call with someone else needing assistance - they'd leave a message (or not, bless their heart), and I'd call back to assist them. And I log all of my calls too, so there's time used for that.

For those of us in recovery, stuff like this can throw us. Probably for everybody, but those of us in recovery need to be able to get back to some equilibrium - stress is something that needs attention so that we don't become symptomatic. Now, I don't freak out over lots of unexpected stuff to do, but it has in the past drained me quite a bit, and sometimes irritated me and lowered my emotional state. 

I've been learning lately to put my emotional state - my 'vibe', as it were - first. That sounds counterproductive - isn't that what I did when I was actively using alcohol? Isn't that self-centered? Not when done properly with the right intention.

First of all, how am I viewing the flood? I learned early in recovery that what works best is to take things as they come, and not judge them as good or bad. Floods have their purpose, and, while not necessarily pleasant, they can have value. In other words, this is what is in front of me and it is mine to do - no bitching, whining, or trying to run away from it. I've had to re-learn this throughout recovery, because as I gain more stability and confidence and my skills sharpen, I'm prone to begin to believe again that I actually know what I'm doing and can run my own show. In other words, ego begins to grow. So I'm reminded as the waters rise that it's time for me to set aside what I wanted to do and take care of the business at hand as best I can. 

One of the things I just thought of is that I have a 'reject' button on my phone that, when pressed, sends an incoming call right to voice mail. I'm grateful I didn't even think of doing that.

Anyway, as I'm taking care of this 'extra' business, I can feel the stress level in my body rise. A few months ago, I posted a video that talked about how stress can actually be beneficial when viewed and responded to correctly. So today, being conscious of my stress along with the direction my feeling state was headed, I was able to take some action to turn today's flood into a good experience, and the action I took was purely mental - all I did was instead of inwardly complaining about the calls and worrying whether I'd get 'my' stuff done, was I changed my attitude.

Everything is energy. We don't necessarily see it, but it is. So I had this unexpected energy coming at me today. My choices were to resist it as much as possible, escape it somehow, or, ride the wave of energy. When we resist, we're using our own energy to push against something, and we deplete ourselves. When I escape, I may save my energy, but I lower my emotional feeling state, and that can cause me to do negative things later on. If I can ride the energy coming at me, I can get through it until it dissipates, and not lose my own energy or my emotional well-being. Although I'm not a practitioner of the martial arts, I think that that's the same thing martial artists do. Be ok with the wave and just ride it.

Today is the first time I've intentionally done this, and it really worked well. Notice the wave, keep my emotional state 'above water' by not judging the wave, ride it and do what I have to do with it, and move on. And give thanks for the wherewithal to handle what comes my way.

One of the things to remember, I think, is when the wave is over, stop riding it. I handled all the calls and requests; the people who called have stuff to do on their end, but now it's theirs; I don't have to concern myself with it, and I can go back to doing what I was doing.

I'm really grateful for today's lesson.

Namasté,

Ken

It's All Inside All of Us

When I was 10, 11, or 12, I read a book titled Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. It's a book about a seagull who is dissatisfied with his ordinary seagull life, and sets out to learn to fly - to really fly, not just commute to get his daily food. It's a quick read, and I recommend it. There is also a version on YouTube, narrated by Richard Harris. I started listening to it, but the style of narration and the music put me off. You might enjoy it, however.

I believe this book started, or at least validated, my quest for something more. As I've mentioned once or twice before in this blog, I've never been one to be satisfied very long with life as it appears on the surface. I've always searched deeper. I am blessed in that I grew up in a home with parents of different faith traditions. I don't have as much dogma as some people have, and I had permission to explore what was out there as far as religion goes, and explore I did. I also never had any indoctrination that one way of believing was any better or worse than another way. I am grateful for that. I have plenty of stuff to unlearn in this lifetime, but I don't have any sense of guilt that some might experience from staying home on a Sunday morning, or that I currently do not hold membership in any organized religious body. And I may become a member of a spiritual fellowship in the future, if Spirit moves me to do so.

Even with all this freedom, spirituality has been slow to develop with me. I read and hear spiritual information that rings true to me, but have had difficulty over the years internalizing what I hear and read. It's as though part of me really grasps onto it, and part of me rejects it. The path from my head to my heart is often a lot longer than the physical 18 inches. 

But what I wanted to write about today is the concept that God, or Spirit, or Source, or Creator, or whatever term fits best for you, is inside each and every one of us. Not just because we've been baptized, or confirmed, or had our willies snipped - the Spirit of the Universe is within us since birth. Our connection to Source is our birthright. I understand that many faiths say one must go through some sort of ceremony to get God, but even in the Christian tradition, Jesus did not indicate that. "And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, 'The kingdom of God cometh not with observation:  Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you'." (Luke 17:20-21, KJV) (I think the red lettering is a nice touch). Jesus' statement comes with no qualifiers. Jesus' mission on Earth was to show others how to connect with God, and if there had been qualifiers, surely He would have mentioned them? Many of the commonly accepted qualifiers for becoming a child of God expressed in the Christian faiths originated from theologians after Jesus' death. 

The concept of a Higher Power being already factory-installed within us is important in recovery. I do believe for myself that a Higher Power is necessary to recover from addiction and mental illness, and understanding that it is already present is often essential. Both addiction and mental health conditions come with a lot of shame - we believe we're bad, defective people. Certainly God, who is all good, would have nothing to do with us because we're deficient, defective, and just plain bad. That's not just theory; millions, perhaps billions, of people feel cut off from Source because of what they've done or who their society says they are. The problem is that we are unable to live up to God's standards. 

But, lo and behold, mainstream religion has given us an out - if we repent, we can experience redemption and be saved. That means, if we we renounce our former lives, and behave ourselves and start doing certain things, God will love us unconditionally, and everything will be great.

There are a couple of problems with this: for people with mental health issues or addiction issues, it's really difficult, if not impossible, to shed the shame of being a sinful, defective human being, so we bring our sense of shame into this perfect relationship with God, and that automatically sullies the relationship. Self-forgiveness is not an easy task! Second, to anybody who thinks too much, and usually people who live with mental health conditions think way too much for their own good, this concept of receiving conditional unconditional love doesn't really make sense. 

What If

Try this on for size: The Hebrew Bible in Genesis 1:27 (KJV) tells us that, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." It's fairly obvious that we didn't create ourselves, and if God created us, He probably created us as He is, seeing as He had nothing else to go on. So, if we're direct descendants of Source, we must have everything It has. Everything. Meaning, perhaps, (heretic alert) we have as much power, energy, and love within us as God has. Meaning, also, that it would also be very hard for Source to hate and reject Its own creation.  

God, in order to be God, is Omniscient (all knowing), Omnipotent (all powerful), and Omnipresent (everywhere).  The omniscient part means that nothing gets by God. Nothing. Even if you have the covers on. So is it possible, seeing that God is Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Omnipresent, for His creation, created in His image, to do anything that goes against His grain? If God is all good, and He created everything (including us) how can anything be bad?

Now try this on for size: What if we're eternal beings - our consciousnesses are points or particles (or maybe waves) of Source, and we've always been and always will be. We already know Source is creative - look up into the night sky, and you can see it! What if we're eternal beings, and this particular life is a physical incarnation that we chose, and we come to Earth as little bundles of Source, with all the attributes of Source, but completely dependent upon others for our physical survival? What if, in the struggle to maintain this physical existence, we forget where we came from and who we really are? 

What if the point of all of this is that Source wants to experience all the infinite possibilities of physical life, and that's why we're here? What if part of the joy of living is the journey back to remembering who we really are? What if all of the discomfort and pain and hurt we experience in this lifetime comes from our forgetfulness of who we really are?

And what if it is possible to live as Jesus (and a few others) have - in complete knowing of our Oneness with the Creator while we're here in this physical plane? What if part of our purpose is to discover our own Divinity and to share our experience with others searching for theirs? What would that look like?

So that's the whole deal for me - my life, right now, is about understanding that I am learning to release my little higher powers (addictions, shame, dysfunctional thinking, beliefs in disconnect) in order to remember that I Am connected to Source, and that my life is very important because while I am experiencing it, so is Source, and Source has never experienced life like this before. What if Source loves me even when I don't? What if Source is always available to me, I just have to learn how to tune into the right frequency?

This is actually working in my life. I come from a hopeless state of mind and body to a person living successfully among his peers. Much of my path has been and is unlearning the things I've learned that don't match my vision of Source. I do that in many ways - therapy, recovery programs, fellowship with others on the same path, reading and learning new ways of looking at life, prayer and meditation.

I still want to learn to fly.

Namasté

Ken

Discovering What Works for Me

Sometimes I think my story is one of growing up and trying to live without a pair. I have a little (or maybe big) rebel inside who wanted to run away by the time 6th grade rolled around. I didn't physically begin running away until I was 26 or 27, but I certainly figured out how to escape using chemicals. 

I didn't balk at my first residential alcoholism treatment at age 21. I feel like that was a mistake. My drinking was certainly a problem for a lot of folks around me, but for me, drinking was still the solution. I tried to stay sober for those whom I thought wanted me sober. On the plus side, I did learn a whole lot about alcoholism, and how to recover, during those early stabs at recovery. On the down side, I didn't find out why I wanted recovery for 3 decades.

So it's no great shock that I never learned to open up and trust others to guide me. It's no great shock that I never learned to trust myself. My motto was, "Lay low, and avoid doing anything to make anyone notice you're alive." I wanted the least amount of trouble out of this lifetime as possible.

I've recently acquired a new spiritual adviser. The funny thing is, a little part of me wonders whom I could ask for approval for my choice. Not too long ago, I would have cried that I still have vestiges of that person who couldn't make a move without someone else's approval. Today, for the most part, I'm a man who owns his own life - meaning I look inside for what I need and want, and take responsibility for my choices. Living like this is still relatively new to me, but it's a lot more satisfying than the way I used to live - afraid of my own shadow, and afraid that someone would disapprove of me and my choices. That's an awful way to live.

What brings all of this up right now is that I work with others who seek support in their recoveries from addiction and/or mental illness. I am trained to do this, and I have a wealth of experience. What I love about my job is that we follow SAMHSA's recovery guidelines, and one of the tenets is that recovery is person-driven - in other words, each individual gets to define what they want recovery to look like for them. In the long run, that's the only way it really works. But for many years, I tried to make a certain recovery program that wasn't a real good fit for me work for me. This program is great for those who are classic alcoholics, because it was created by two men who were classic alcoholics. There is nothing written in this particular program that says, "This is the only way to recover from alcoholism." The writer of the basic text was a recovery explorer himself; he also lived with depression, and, from reading his biography, I got the impression that he was never fully satisfied with his recovery, although he did stay sober through the rest of his life. However, the message I received from others working this program in my area was, "This is the only way to recover." And, because I hadn't yet accepted that I also live with a mental health condition, I tried to make this recovery program work - time and time again. It made me both angry and ashamed - I seemed to do more than a lot of folks to stay sober and to get a decent life, and it just didn't happen for me. I was only able to reinforce my belief that I was a loser at life. 

I don't call people out, but nowadays when I hear someone say, "This is the only thing that works," I cringe inside. I've been to funerals of sober alcoholics who died by suicide. Can you imagine being so low, wondering why you're feeling this way sober, and knowing that you've failed at the 'only thing that works'? I can. I lived that. 

Today, I let folks know that it's ok to live the way they want to live. Many of the people with whom I work live with shame of not living up to made-up standards - in other words, the rest of their family has degrees, and they don't, or they should have been married at 26 (I was married once at 26, and it was probably about 50 years too soon), or they're not making enough money, or their disability is such that they can't work full-time (which is another construct), or even at all. It's a shame, I think, that we've made boxes for people to fit in, and more of a shame that those of us who don't fit in these boxes are looked down upon. Even in recovery there are boxes. I believe today that we've been created to experience all the infinite possibilities of life, not to fit into a narrow definition of what a 'proper' life 'should' look like. Today I'm discovering who I am and learning to live who I am unashamedly.

So I share with the people I work with good evidence-based recovery tools; but I also encourage them to find out what works for them. Recovery is not meant to be, I believe, a one- size-fits-all orange jumpsuit; I believe it can be a finely tailored expression of all we are inside - beautiful, strong, courageous creations with a lot to offer to life.

I've been holding that in for a long time. It feels good to express it. 

Namasté,

Ken

11 Signs of Enlightenment

Thanks to Source working through Facebook, I ran across a blog post by Matthew Ferry, and I liked his material so much that I posted a link to his blog on my links page. (By the way, check out my links page sometime). Matthew posted his 11 signs of enlightenment, and I've posted them below - slightly revised: He wrote it in third person, and I changed it to first person so that it becomes an affirmation. Another 'by the way': I will contact him and ask him permission to publish this.

Here are 11 tell-tale signs you are experiencing enlightenment in day-to-day life (revised): credit https://blog.matthewferry.com/11-tell-tale-signs-experiencing-enlightenment-day-day-life/

• I am happy because I exist and it is my natural state. Circumstances are no longer the source of my happiness.
• I am at peace with the way things are and eager for whatever is next.
• I have begun to see that people are innately innocent and that their selfish actions are a natural result of survival programming.
• I acknowledge that we are all just doing the best we can in a world that is mysterious and challenging.
• I am inexplicably driven to forgive everyone for everything.
• I take steps to release the illusion that I can control anything.
• I experience the freedom of knowing that my opinion and perspective are not important, valuable, or needed and the world goes on with or without my commentary, opinion, insights, observations, or point of view.
• I am beginning to acknowledge that the world is an expression of my perspective and programs developed through familial, cultural, religious and geographical influences that I had no choice in.
• I am starting to see that the only thing I am against is my perspective about what I am experiencing in the world.
• I [am starting] to lose my urgency. Nothing feels very important. I feel compelled to do the things that I enjoy.
• My stress begins to disappear. When it returns, I might find it interesting rather than urgent and distracting.

Thank you Matthew. As I've written before, my recovery began the moment I was truly done with living life as I knew it. Now, at that point, one either changes or one dies. I'm grateful that I began to change. I'm grateful today for my wholesale dissatisfaction with life as I used to see it, and I'm grateful to be moving into a perspective that works for me. 

The very neat thing about these 11 Signs is that I can use them as a guide to note my progress. There is nothing listed above that's about perfection, and nobody on the Earth plane lives in perfection. We embody perfection, but we don't live perfectly. Enlightenment, to me, is simply learning to live life from the inside out - to endeavor each moment to live from the perfection that resides within, rather than reacting to the circumstances that surround me (which are really only the result of me and others living imperfectly).

My path toward Enlightenment consists of mindfulness, meditation, prayer, and practice - I practice being how I want to show up today. Because of this, I no longer have much use for protecting myself (my ego) nor worrying about if I'm going to get what I need. I know that I am already abundantly equipped to make this journey. 

I used to live each day with the goal of just getting through the day - surviving without too much hurt, or, if I was hurt, blocking the pain with alcohol, drugs, and other addictive behavior. It is a depressing way to live. Today my purpose is to enjoy life and to be a blessing to those around me. It's not always easy, but it's a lot simpler than reacting to circumstances. 

I am grateful today for the privilege of being on this journey.

Namasté,

Ken

Let Me Share A Secret...

I recently talked with a parent of a person who lives with co-occurring disorders - she has a mental health condition along with substance use disorder. I shared my experience with this parent - my experience of relying too heavily on my parents and others to take care of me, to 'fix' me, when it would have been better all around for me to learn to take care of myself. I shared with this person how my learning to be responsible and take care of myself was/is the scariest thing, and yet the best thing, that I've ever done. I felt very comfortable talking with this parent - I was in my element, I was in the groove.

That's not the secret. That's what I do for a living - allow myself to be vulnerable so that I can share my experience and knowledge so that others might gain hope and maybe insight.

My secret is this:  I would rather not. People scare me. My brain, or my ego, tells me I would rather be alone all day than deal with people. My experience, on the other hand, tells me that the more open I am with others, the more I share the real me with others, the healthier I'll be. 

So I live with this paradox. I like to speak in public, and I write this blog, and on Facebook I'm very open; yet sitting down to talk with someone 1:1 is very scary for me, at least before the event. Once I'm in there, the experience is good. And when I'm done sharing or doing whatever I'm doing, I feel very good inside. 

I don't know if that fear of others, or that desire to isolate, will ever leave. It has its benefits - I must be spiritually prepared every day, through prayer and meditation, to meet whatever (or whoever) is mine to meet. This fear is the thorn in my side that St Paul describes - it keeps me coming back to Source, because I know what would happen if I did only what my head tells me to do - I would get sick and die. I've learned that if I'm not doing something today that makes me uncomfortable, I'm probably not doing anything today that's healthy for me.

I bring this up for two reasons: First, I need to remind myself that when I see someone else do something that looks very challenging to me, yet they're making it look effortless, there is probably a lot of preparation and stuff going on behind what they're doing of which I'm not aware. In other words, I ought not judge by appearances - things and people are rarely, if ever, what they seem at first glance. Second, I'd like to give some hope to someone who might read this and say to you, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do one thing every day that scares you," and, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

I existed for a long time avoiding the tough stuff in life, and I was very empty inside. It's very painful to only go through the motions of living. Only when I began to do the things that I didn't want to do, the things that scared me, the things that exposed me, the things that I had no idea how to do, did I begin to experience the richness of life. One doesn't necessarily need to climb Mount Everest to experience a thrill; simply doing what's written on my heart while ignoring the screaming voice in my head can be quite thrilling. I have a lot of people in my life for whom I'm very grateful who would not be in my life if I were living by my old m.o. Simply put, it's really easy to get to know people who are really easy to get to know, but it's not very fulfilling. Inside of me, and I'm pretty sure inside of you, are those things that deep down my heart yearns to do, but my head has excuses not to do. For me, those are the things I do if I want to have the kind of life that I can feel good about. And I suppose I am, bit by bit, because, bit by bit, I'm feeling better about being me. It's been a long time coming.

Namasté,

Ken

There is ALWAYS Hope

I had the wonderful opportunity today to give support to a 70-year-old person today who has had a long life with lots of hard knocks. They wondered if they shouldn't just give up. My response was, "There is always hope. If we can work together to get you to a place where you feel absolute peace and contentment for even just one day while you're living, then it is worth it, and I believe that it is possible."

I wasn't simply conveying an empty platitude; I meant it, and I believe it - for myself, and for anybody else that can draw a breath. And this is the beauty of the work I do - I get to witness miracles; always in my life, and often in the lives of others. 

There is a Power greater than me and greater than all of us of which we are all a part of - we all belong to It - and when we open ourselves to the possibility of hope and healing, healing can and does occur. 

Emmet Fox was a Divine Science minister and author from the last century, and one of the first authors I read when I began my study of New Thought. He wrote:

“There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open; no gulf that enough love will not bridge; no wall that enough love will not throw down; no sin that enough love will not redeem.
It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake; a sufficient realization of love will dissolve
it all. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.”

The Love that he is talking about is God or Source or whatever term you'd like to use to describe the Power that underlies all. When we unreservedly tap into that Power, what we call miracles happen.

And I have, without the use of mood-altering substances, experienced those peaceful, sublime moments where all is well with me, the world, and the Universe. I have been to that place of perfection within. These moments have the effect for me of making all the challenges I've lived through worthwhile. 

There is a lot of pain and suffering in the world. There's a good bit of pain and suffering right here in Waukesha. Fortunately, I'm not tasked with alleviating all of it. I don't even have to carry it on my shoulders. What I can do, and what I endeavor to do, is to see past the pain and suffering in someone, to see the goodness and perfection underlying it all. We can't lose that - no matter what I've done, no matter where I've been, no matter how much hate and sadness I've harbored, that spark of Love that created me has never been snuffed out. Others helped me tear away a lot of the crap that was covering up my Light, and now I look for It in others, and help them let go of what is covering up their Light. 

For me, it begins with the belief that every life has value, even when an individual thinks their life has none. I can picture the people who told me I was wrong when I said my life had no value, and who didn't let me go. It begins with hope.

And when I give away what I've been freely given, I am not depleted - I just get more to give away, and for that I am most grateful. 

Namasté,

Ken